Since March 23, 2025, when pre-wedding pictures of Emily Kinaka Banadzem, also known as Bandy Kiki (Shey Lesbian), and her Nigerian partner, Jenny, surfaced on social media, the Nso people of Bui Division in the Northwest Region of Cameroon have faced widespread victimization from the public. The community bears the burden of an act committed by one of their own, who has defied deeply ingrained cultural and traditional norms.
Traditional ritual in LamnsoThe lesbians adorned in typical grassfiel attire
The 35 year old LGBTQ activist, based in the United Kingdom, officially celebrated her union in both traditional and white wedding ceremonies. The event was officiated by another LGBTQ activist, Marline Oluchi, who traveled from New York to perform the rites in the Lamnso language. Additionally, Rev. Jide Rebirth Macaulay, a gay Anglican priest based in London, conducted the religious ceremony. The use of Lamnso in the wedding rituals, the breaking of the kola nut, and the wearing of the esteemed Grassfield attire, “Atoghu,” have been met with strong disapproval from the Nso community.
Rev. Jide Rebirth Macaulay, Gay Anglican Priest
In response to this controversial event, Nso leaders and organizations have taken action. On March 28, 2025, Tadze Adamu Mbiy, President General of the Nso Cultural and Development Association (NSODA), issued a statement:
“The Executive Council of NSODA expresses deep dismay at the recent marriage between a Nso woman, Kiki Bandy, and her female Nigerian partner in the United Kingdom. This act, which was officiated in the Lamnso language, constitutes a grave insult to the dignity and values of the Nso people. Her public identification as ‘Shey Lesbian’ further dishonors the Shey title, a position of great reverence in Nso tradition.
All members of the Nso community are aware of the legal, personal, and customary implications of same-sex marriage, a practice strictly prohibited by both Cameroonian law and Nso tradition. While proponents of such unions may invoke freedom and human rights, it is important to recognize that our collective right to uphold our traditions and religious beliefs unequivocally rejects same-sex relationships and marriages.
We urge all Nso girls to reject this irreverent and morally reprehensible example set by Kiki Bandy and those who officiated her wedding. Parents must educate and monitor their children, instilling in them the virtues of traditional marriage and the moral principles that define our community. We also encourage the Nso people to disengage from Kiki Bandy’s blog and content, which seeks to normalize a practice that contradicts our cultural values.
We call upon our Fons and the Ngwerong society to reinforce prohibitions and enforce appropriate sanctions against any public display of same-sex relationships by individuals of Nso descent. We also request that those who facilitated this so-called wedding be identified and subjected to traditional judgment.
Furthermore, we urge the Cameroonian government to strengthen existing laws against same-sex marriage and intensify enforcement measures. Nso women are called upon to preserve their dignity and uphold the cherished traditions passed down through generations.
NSODA remains committed to the empowerment and well-being of Nso women and the girl child, firmly rooted in the values that define our identity.”
Kola nut with great cultural significance in the Grassfield region in the hand of Merline
This statement follows a communique from the Nso Traditional Title Holders in Europe (NTHE), who have also denounced the use of Nso cultural artifacts in the ceremony.
“This act constitutes a serious cultural violation and a direct affront to the integrity of Nso customs and traditions,” the communique states.
In reaction to The Standard Mirror Team, , Rev. Fr. Alphonse Wongibeh Fonyuy, a Catholic priest from the Diocese of Buea and a son of the Nso Fondom, condemned the event, its moral, cultural, and spiritual repercussions.
“It is intrinsically evil and fundamentally ‘contra natura’—against human nature. Nature is divinely ordained and must be preserved. Africa, and Cameroon in particular, firmly oppose such practices, which are considered taboo and an abomination.”
As the Nso community grapples with this unfortunate cultural blackmail, its leaders and custodians of tradition remain steadfast in their commitment to preserving the cultural and moral fabric of their society especially in this era where youngster easily get absorbed in the odds of the social media.
Currently, LGBTQ is punishable in Cameroon by Article 347 of the Cameroon Penal Code which criminalizes sexual contact between members of the same sex with a penalty of six months to five years in prison.
“In Nso’s land of joy, where humanity’s revered,
A land of unity, where culture’s deeply feared,
Who is this lady, defiling our sacred ground?
Eroding our values, and tearing our community down?
As an artist, I cry out, with a heartfelt plea,
Let us preserve our heritage, and set our people free.
Let us uphold our traditions, and honor our ancestors’ ways,
And restore the beauty of Nso, in all its radiant days.”
Same sex marriages is not AFRICAN and must be discouraged in all its forms. We must ensure that our generation unborn never normalize this vice that is sweeping across board. Cuddos to the powers that be in the Nso land for condemning this unfortunate incident and enforcing the above sanctions on the perpetrators. This will serve as a further deterrence to any son or daughter of the Nso land, and Cameroonian by extension who has intentions to emulate this misleading example.
“In Nso’s land of joy, where humanity’s revered,
A land of unity, where culture’s deeply feared,
Who is this lady, defiling our sacred ground?
Eroding our values, and tearing our community down?
As an artist, I cry out, with a heartfelt plea,
Let us preserve our heritage, and set our people free.
Let us uphold our traditions, and honor our ancestors’ ways,
And restore the beauty of Nso, in all its radiant days.”
Same sex marriages is not AFRICAN and must be discouraged in all its forms. We must ensure that our generation unborn never normalize this vice that is sweeping across board. Cuddos to the powers that be in the Nso land for condemning this unfortunate incident and enforcing the above sanctions on the perpetrators. This will serve as a further deterrence to any son or daughter of the Nso land, and Cameroonian by extension who has intentions to emulate this misleading example.